#incorrect vines

[miseryabyss]

Jasper: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Call: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Aaron?

Aaron: Probably “road work ahead”.

Tamara: I speak many languages, and this is none of them

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Dick: Happy Chrismis!

Damian: What is Happening.

Tim: Is Chrismimth.

Damian: what are you fools-

Steph: Merry Crisis!

Damian: Father, they have lost their minds.

[All four stare at Bruce expectantly]

Bruce, sighing: Merry Crysler.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Dick: Yo, dumbass, get over here!

Jason: Okay-

Tim: I'm coming!

Jason internally: *sadly* I thought... I was dumbass...

[musicalfan78]

Telemachus: Hey dad, can I get some ice cream?

Odysseus: Only a spoonful!

Telemachus: *grabs a spoon*

Hermes: *appears out of nowhere and makes the spoon comically large*

Odysseus: .... *questioning how the tables have turned*

[invincibledc]

*The group is getting into the car*

Damian: I’m driving.

Wonderboy!reader, out of view: Shotgun!

Billy, turning to face reader: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except reader: WOAH-

Wonderboy!reader, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

[gay-dorito-dust]

Just Luke and reader being camp halfblood parental figures.

Percy: why do you call Luke and y/n your parents?

Annabeth; it’s hard not to, epically not when Luke watched over me and made sure my wounds were healed, nurse me back to health when sick like a mother. Whereas y/n would advice me to crush my enemies, destroy their egos with my intellect and ability to think on the spot, but in the same breath beat the shit out of anyone that looked at me wrong.

Annabeth: they both essentially raised me when we were together with Thalia. Who in this situation would be my cool aunt.

Percy: *whispering to himself* note to self, if I am to ever date annabeth, hypothetically, don’t piss off the parental unit known as y/n.

…

Luke: where have you been young man? You’ve had us worried sick.

Percy: who are you meant to be my dad?

You: no I am your dad/parental unit, now answer your mother.

Percy: *crosses arms* it’s none of your business.

You: *also crosses arms* would you like to repeat that again since you’re feeling sassy today?

Percy: …no…I was with Grover and Annabeth.

Luke: we’re only looking out for you, that’s all. *pats his shoulder with a smile* but you do know you’re not allowed to sneak out of your cabins after curfew.

You: which is a rule you broke that thus punishable, so you know what that means ~

Percy: I’m cabin grounded…

You: yes you absolutely are, now get to bed and think about what you’ve done to your poor mother. *cradles Luke in your arms as he tries not to laugh*

…

You: the both of you get on top of your bunks! Get up there!

Connor and travis: *climbing their bunk beds* THIS CABIN IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!

Luke: this is what you get for replacing shampoo with hair remover, poor Lucas from the Aphrodite cabin can’t look himself in the mirror anymore.

(I like to imagine that Connor and travis sleep on the top bunks of their beds so they can scheme to one another)

…

New camper: *points to you and luke* mom/dad/ etc and dad?

You and Luke: uhhh…yeah! 👍

…

(Good guy Luke au)

Nico: *sweet boy with the sweetest smile, complete deck of mythomagic cards that he wants to talk about, bright eyed and bushy tailed, just over all needs to be protected*

You: *cradles him to your chest* you sweet little boy! I know your pain and you’ve been nothing but brave this entire time.

Luke: *joining you* absolutely the bravest our sweet child of hades, we’ll keep you safe from now on.

Nico: I don’t know what’s going on but do you want to listen to me talk about my card game? *shows you both his cards with a beaming smile*

You and Luke: *sitting yourselves down In front of nico* oh absolutely we do. Nothing would make us happier.

[hurtspideyparker]

Steve: Do you ever wanna talk about your emotions Bucky?

Bucky: No

Tony: I do

Steve: I know Tony

Tony: I'm sad

Steve: I know Tony

[puzzled-pegasus]

Frank: This is...so dumb

Jason, fully standing on Frank's shoulders: The higher I am, the better I can see.

Frank: You can---you can fly.

Jason: Hush now, Frank. I am searching.

[awhoreintheory]

Picture Peter using slangs from his universe, and utterly befuddling people when he gets dropped in Gotham

Peter sounds insane. No one knows what a "gritty" is, or how to hit it. He has a weird obsession with caps, but he never wears a hat. No one knows what the hell "America's ass" means. Is it a dig at politics? A reference the "do the butt's match?" Meme? No one fucking knows.

Anyways that's how he gives his identity away AND Tim assumes he's from the future, the the batfamily makes contingencies around this incorrect assumption

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Alexei: Why is your report card on the ceiling?!

Yelena: You said to get my grades up.

Alexei: ... I did say that. Let me see!

[emmikay]

Mustang: Hey, want to help me commit a felony?

Hawkeye: Colonel! What the hell?!

Mustang: Oh, sorry, my bad.

Mustang: (whispering) Want to help me commit a felony?

Hawkeye: (whispering) Of course sir, what do you need?

[amazing-spiderlad]

Vaggie: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE IN TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR! GET UP THERE!

Angel, climbing: This hotel is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!

[lilliejareau]

voit: daddy?

rossi: do i LOOK like—

[shyjusticewarrior]

Red Hood Incorrect Quotes Pt 84

Jason: It's not the worst date I've ever had. There was that one that kept stabbing me with a fork.

Jason: Look at the buns on that guy.

Roy: *laying on ground, covered in burger buns*

Dick: This is the comedy police, the joke's too funny!

Jason, drawing gun: I'm not going back to jail!

[uncorrectintamed]

Jiang Cheng: [to Jin Ling] You know, Wei Wuxian can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.

Jiang Cheng: [blows airhorn at Wei Wuxian] GET FUCKED!

[lostiel]

DREADROOK WEEK day 1 - fake fade conversations